The entire week I'll be honoring the past year of blogs by posting one of my favorites from the archives. This particular one was posted on May 11, 2005.
I'd like to invite all of you to check out Surfjan Stevens' "To Be Alone With You." Good song.
Now you may notice the title from an old "Offspring" tune, but rock without a purpose is not what this particular blog is going to be about. This blog is about our kids, or since most of us don't have kids, America's kids. Actually, the kids are just where the problem ends. It begins in politics.
Politics today have killed our children, and I mean that literally. "Oh my gosh, Kit. I thought you agreed with the War on Terror. I thought you were an evil conservative like the rest of us. I thought you were for the Christian agenda permeating EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF OUR LIVES." Ok folks. That was sarcasm. While I am still conservative on a few issues and moderate on most, I could care less what you label me. What I care about is how politics, conservative or liberal bias aside, is leading to the death of our kids and is bleeding our taxpayers dry.
So, how is politics killing our children? We're not being proactive. Politics prevent proactive problem solving and only encourage REACTIVE problem solving. Take Florida for example. Kudos to Jeb Bush for passing the mandatory 25 year sentence and GPS locator for life for child sex offenders. Good start. However, this was only done as a PR move after TWO children were kidnapped, raped, and brutally murdered. This "law" should have been taken care of when the Constitution was signed.
Don't ask what I would've done instead quite yet. I'm getting to that part later.
It doesn't stop with the kids though. Terri Shiavo (uh oh, not this again) was starved to death and all efforts to save her life were only called into play once politicians' phones started ringing off the hook. No one cared until it was a national issue that SOME party needed to save face on. Regardless of your stance on it, you can't deny it was only an issue when the VOTERS made it an issue.
Now you might feel better knowing the voting public are the ones driving change. Or you might feel worse knowing that something shitty has to happen before we think about change. Two kids aren't dead in Florida. They weren't murdered or raped. Do you still want a 25 year mandatory sentence in the Sunshine State? Oh, you still want the sentence, but it wasn't a priority then. We all want people to pay the ultimate debt for a crime. I always say prosecute to the full extent of the law. Why? Because I don't break the fucking law. I don't have shit to worry about. The truth is we, as a society, have let politics turn us into a reactive public so we can shed responsibility. "Don't blame me. MY kids are safe. Don't blame me. I had no idea what had happened until it became a national issue and NOW I'm outraged."
This extends in nearly EVERY aspect of crime and wrongdoings. Take the man that was shot upwards of 120 times by police in Compton, Ca. He had no gun and other than running from the cops, seemed to be an OK guy. Until you realize he has had 22 prior arrests since 1988. That's a little over 1 a year. When was the last time you got arrested once every year? Why was this guy even on the street?!? Why? BECAUSE JAIL DOESN'T WORK SO WE ONLY PUT REALLY BAD PEOPLE IN THERE.
But let's take the focus off of crime and move it to the wrongdoings sector. The federal government just approved a bill to give illegal immigrants the ability to get federal assistance for college. They also approved a bill to have Medicare take care of illegal immigrants! THEY'RE CALLED "ILLEGAL" IMMIGRANTS FOR A REASON! Jesus, man! I don't want my tax dollars WASTED so Jose can cut my fucking grass! Call me prejudice, racist, whatever you want but if you're illegal, I'd rather have Billy Bob do my yard work and know that whatever he makes stays in this country to help this economy. Black, red, blue, white, or purple (anyone ever wondered why "purple" is always a color listed when people are talking about how prejudice they're NOT?) if you are a citizen of this country, you are OK in my fucking book. Illegal Immigrants cost this country BILLIONS of TAX DOLLARS each year and who is raising their hands to help? NO ONE. Politicians don't want to risk the Hispanic vote they say. Here's news for ya. Jose can't vote right now...HE'S NOT A CITIZEN!
Now certain border politicians say they have a "plan" but they're waiting until June or July to unveil it. Guess what? You have no fucking plan. You've got an idea, but the plan is on hold until you make sure the idea doesn't offend anyone; especially Jose. Lord knows if Jose's pissed, then so are the other 11 people in his Van, and how many yards won't get cut or buildings get built because Jose is angry? We could shut this economy down for one night if all the ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS stopped working. Hell, we don't want anyone on welfare to get that job instead.
Here's the shit kicker. If we don't secure the boarders, we're bound for another 9/11. However, politics are allowing that to happen so we can once again "react" instead of "prevent."
So, now that I've laid out the problems, here's the solution:
1. If you're creepy looking and have no personality, you go to jail. -- I originally had this as just "creepy looking" because all child molesters are creepy looking, but then I thought of Steve Buscemi
, who's cool but creepy looking. If he turns out to be a child molester, then I'm changing it back to just creepy looking.
2. No more Mexican language anywhere. -- I should no longer have to "Press 1 for English or Para Espanol marque dos." If they can't fucking understand anything, then they can't get anything done. We are an English speaking country and if you're going to be illegal, you will speak English.
3. No more wire transfers to Mexico. -- Here's what will really put a boot in someone's ass. Next time you go to Kroger, you'll notice that Western Union figured they would cash in on the "reactive public" craze and make an entire Espanol section to send money. You get rid of that, then it's gonna be mighty fucking tough crossing that border multiple times.
4. Lawyers have to be Southern. -- This, my friends, is how you get a maximum sentence every time. If you practice law in south Alabama, then you're the LEAST likely to plea bargain a first time child molester or a cold-blooded murderer. Take that fucker to trial and get the job done.
5. You get two death row appeals and they have to come within 3 months of your sentence. -- You get sent to death row, then mother fucker, you're gonna die. If you didn't do it, tough. You must've done enough bad shit to make you eligible to go or people would've believed you. So you got an appeal? Great, you've got 3 months to use them both. On day one of that fourth month, you're gone.
6. If you are considered "Liberal" or "Conservative" you're no longer eligible to run this country. -- Too much shit isn't getting done because of party lines. No one wants to be a red or blue state any more. Help out or get the fuck out of the way. If you pack the Senate and House with more Moderates, then you'll get people considering both sides of an issue.
7. If you own an Ipod and rub it in my face, you're in jail. -- Yeah, this one is kinda stupid, but I'm sick and tired of the Ipod craze. I have an MP3 player in my car. Stop telling me how badly I need a fucking Ipod. This law is also for anyone "claiming" to be a Yankees, Red Sox, Lakers, Gators, or Vols fan. Just because they're all expected to do well, doesn't authorize you to go hump the fucking bandwagon.
8. Build a big fucking wall on the borders. -- If we can put a man on the moon, create Ipods, and turn this country into a bunch of sore losers who bitch in a PC way, then we can build a friggin wall that's 15 foot tall with razor wire across the top. And don't give me the "well there's a river down there" speech. Put the wall across the River and at the very bottom, put a gate. If they make it through that, then they fuckin deserve to be here.
Ok. That's how it's done. Feel free to add your own as you feel necessary. Just remember, it's about being fair in a biased way. Fuck your party lines or the way you see the world. Just make sure it benefits the proud Americans you see walking down the street every day who take this country for granted.
Until next time kids.