So I called in to Bill O'Reilly's show today and got through. Second time for that. Apparently I have a knack (and a pretty disgusting habit) of calling syndicated radio shows and airing my opinions. I've called Glenn Beck twice and O'Reilly twice and haven't made an ass of myself yet. In fact, today Bill (we're on a first name basis now) sent me an Equifax Credit Watch membership because I made a good point. It was all based on Terri Shiavo and the moral vs. legal debate the country is going through.

I hate it for the woman. I really do. My morals and spider senses FREAK out when I hear the name Michael Shiavo. The truth is, I don't want to undermine the courts, no matter how wrong they are. Once we set a precedent of undermining legal authority, we set ourselves up for failure. Of course, this precedent of starving people to death could lead to ANYONE with some type of minimal conciousness being starved as well. In fact, there's a woman in Philadelphia trying to get her husband's (72 with Alzheimer's) feeding tube replaced as well. The key there is that he had a living well stating his wishes. Honestly, I've started to think about who would get what if I were to die.

First of all if I have any brain function, DO NOT STARVE ME. I give my parents and Jeb full authority to shoot me with enough morphine to kill me dead, but damn, don't let me just starve to death.

And my list of what people get:

Jeb: My bar. He needs to know the basics. When we won the lottery we were going to open a bar in Athens (even if it failed) and hire all our friends. He also gets the Playstation and my furniture. If the boy didn't live by the bare necessities he wouldn't need shit. But if I didn't give it to him, he'd sit on the fuckin floor for the rest of his life. Give him my movie collection and DVD player too.

Jonathan: My Entertainment Center and surround sound. He can't afford a good one so he needs that.

Jud: He gets my computer by ONLY if he takes and COMPLETES a course on Windows, computer basics, and the Microsoft Suite. My computer is too good for him to not know what the fuck he's doing. I guess that means he gets my desk too.

Dexter: He gets all of my Phi Mu Alpha related material. I know he'd take good care of it.

Amos: He gets my trumpet. I had too much fun my senior year (all both of them) marching right near him to not keep that memory alive.

Dwight Satterwhite: He gets my middle finger. I always wanted to give it to him anyway.

Jeremy Worley: He gets the bottle of Maker's Mark that's sitting on my fridge. It's the one double-dipped in red and black.

[NAME REDACTED]: He gets my Jack Daniel's tin that's on my fridge. Joe Boyles gave me that tin for my birthday when he was pledging but I can't think of anyone more fitting to give JD to than [NAME REDACTED]. He bought me my first Jack and Coke and thus started my liver disease. I owe him big for that. And also someone cut [NAME REDACTED] a check for $200. That will cover the two handles of Jack that I probably owe him because I was always chiefing his.

Courtney Hurt: Now I know many of you are surprised I'd even mention her name but she deserves the scrapbook she made me for my birthday. Honestly, it was the best gift anyone's ever given me. Just reminds me of better times. Maybe it would for her too.

Courtney Philips: There are some stuffed squirrels in Perry that she gave me one time. I'd like for her to have those back. Also give her a stuffed bunny. I don't have one here, but if I did, I'd give it to her.

Stacy Gray: She gets all of my beads. If I have a bead it's hers. She deserves them.

Erin McCoy: She gets the yearbook page she wrote for me in my senior yearbook. It's one of the nicest things anyone's said to me. Sometimes when things get bad, I read it just to feel better.

Joe Boyles: For being a kickass little brother he gets my Phi Mu Alpha Pilsner. Amos has it and NEEDS to give it back to me ASAP.

Jarrod Miller: He gets my copy of NCAA Football 2005 since he beat me 2 out of 3 the last time I saw him.

Dana and Miranda: Both of those two get my plates and dishes and stuff. Since they're getting married and doing the real-world thing, they need them.

Wesley Peper: For being one of my two best friends in Savannah, Wes gets my Bulldog painting that's on my wall. He'd appreciate it just as much as I do.

Paige Richter: Since I don't have one, I need someone to go buy a tiara and give that to her. She is the princess and probably the person I'm closest to down here. Even though she's moving in mid-April.


Ok I think I'm done for right now. I'll think of more as it comes to me and add them accordingly. Have fun people and WRITE YOUR LIVING WILLS!


Peas.


P.S.--If I missed anything you might want, let me know in the comments part and I'll seriously consider it.