I’ve noticed my blogs tend to be a little deep and thought provoking at times (not necessarily thought provoking for you, just for me when I read them for a second time). There’s a reason for that I believe. I think that lately I’ve been in a funk. In fact, I know I have. Tonight I’ve figured out why and now I’m sharing it with you.
To give you a little background on why I believe I’m about to write some relevant shit in this blog, I’ll point you to earlier tonight when I was watching House. I’d hate to admit that I got a creative jive from a show about a doctor who is constantly cynical and sarcastic, and three younger doctors who bicker about like three little kittens shooting for the only two nipples left to drink from, but I did. The opening scene of tonight’s episode is what did it. There was this little girl, 10 years old and obese and she was lying to her mom about being sick because the kids were making fun of her and she had no friends.
Seriously, that’s all there was and it opened flood gates.
I have always been a big kid. There was a time in my life where I was relatively average bodied but I have NEVER been skinny. Maybe when I was super young, but ever since I started eating on my own, I’ve been fat. Now was I ever the kid that was picked on because of my weight? Nope. Was I made fun of because I was a little bigger than everyone else was? Sometimes. Did this mild teasing send me into the state of depression that this little girl was feeling? Not as severe, but I was depressed at an unhealthy level when I was in 6th grade.
So even though I’m still a big guy and with no end to that in the near future, am I bitching about my weight? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
What I want to bring to your attention today is your past. Mine is not without tarnishes, bumps, bruises, and shortcomings. I’ve been called egotistical, crazy, overbearing, lazy, and my personal favorite, conceited. What I’d be conceited about, I still don’t know, but it’s my favorite. The reason I choose to bring your past up is because we have all made mistakes and we all have our demons that we fight subconsciously through our dreams and goals that we set in our personal lives.
Have you ever noticed the traits in people are the exact opposites of the flaws they encounter? Bullies are self-conscious. Those that crave spotlight are afraid of drifting into normalcy (that’s me for those scoring at home). Those that are shy are sometimes that way because of a brief moment in their lives where they gave it their all and failed.
Which kid were you?
And now the more important question: How are you making not only your life better because of it, but other’s lives as well?
The purpose of this blog today was not to talk about my life and my shortcomings. It was to vent about the negativity I’ve been faced with as of late and what I’m going to do about it. To be honest, this is the hardest year I’ve ever faced. I still love Courtney. I don’t desire to ever be with her again, but I still love her and I don’t know if that’s ever going to go away. I’m tired of hating my job, but to be fair it’s gotten better lately. I didn’t get the job in Atlanta so I’m a little frustrated about that. I’m poor. My social life is in north Georgia, etc. etc. etc.
Nevertheless, I’m so tired of waking up each morning and only wanting to go back to bed. Therefore, I’m going to change it.
Tomorrow I’m going to be the person I used to be and I’m going to do it with optimism. I encourage all of you to do the same. What I am asking of each pair of eyes that read these words is this: Tomorrow, be good to your fellow man. It may sound really simple but it’s something we all forget on a daily basis.
Here’s an example. When was the last time you called a grocery bagger by their name? If you’re anything like me, you haven’t hardly ever. But try it. Read their nametag and when you pay, say “Thanks (insert name here).” You know what they’ll do? Look at you as if you’ve lost your mind. Then they’ll smile and say “You too” and for a moment, you’ve made their day because you made their work worthwhile.
For a moment, step outside of your shortcomings and step inside to the person you’d like to be. I’m the biggest work in progress God has ever created, but I AM working, which is what’s important I guess. And speaking of God, when was the last time you two have spoken? If you don’t believe in God, it can’t hurt and if you do believe in God, it can only help. Maybe now’s a good time to reevaluate.
I love all of you. I truly do. I hope and pray that every day gets a little better but I mainly sit back and enjoy the life I have. It is stressful but I’m not special. Everyone’s life is stressful as hell. I have a co-worker who was just diagnosed with breast cancer. She keeps all her medical files in a box she calls “The Bump in the Road” box.
So when your bump in the road occurs, how will you react? They say the only thing constant is change and for the first time I’m truly welcoming tomorrow. We all share this world together. We all bleed red blood and we all breathe the same oxygen. In a world full of “not my fault” syndrome, let’s take a little responsibility to make someone else’s day great. Just like a chain, we’re only as strong as our weakest link. Don’t let your fellow man down and I promise someone else will reinforce your link when the time comes.
Until next time kids, be careful and may God bless you all.