Geez man. Is the "Pope TV" gonna end? We got it. He's a big time dude in the Catholic Church. He's like THE guy...with a hat. He reads from a big book too. But given all this, do we really need 24 non-stop hours of white smoke? Hell if you wanted that, set up a camera outside of [NAME REDACTED]'s house when he's writing music.
I honestly think the white smoke came after all the media outlets sent in notes saying "please make it end." You know as much as we hated watching it on TV for the past 2 weeks, the news anchors for the major networks had to have hated being there. Right now they're saying "Thank God" in a much different way than any of those Catholics hanging out with nothing better to do. Priests are the exception though. They could be there because basically, their bosses were locked up with no way of knowing the Priests were just partying...or touching children.
Here's what gets me, though. Some people have been following this too closely. Even though Rusty followed because he's like a 6-foot Vegas, other people were actually more interested in how conservative the Pope was going to be.
Have we really become so red state/blue state that even the Pope has to be labeled? I got news for all you guys. The Pope is the head of the CHURCH. The CHURCH is conservative. It's not like this Pope is gonna just come right out and say "How about that Hillary Clinton?" He ain't gonna fuckin do it. Stop trying to make news where there is none. I mean we all know some folks were hoping this new Pope would say "Birth control is cool." Well he's not. But even if he did, would that make him a more liberal pope? Shit man.
Fuck left and right. Bring back right and wrong.
Back to Pope Watch. I really don't like the name. Every time I hear it, I'm like "Pope Eggs 16th" or "Pope Traitor 16th." I still think he would've been better as:
Pope Johnny Number 5!!! He's Alive!!!
I hope you like that picture. I've laughed all day since I conjured that image up. I must credit an online friend of mine for putting that together because I really REALLY screwed it up when I tried. If you make any money off of it, you owe us both copyright money. At least I hope so.
Alright, I think I'm gonna close out this edition of the Dawg-gone Blog. If you haven't noticed, I'm going to make a serious attempt at blogging every day. If you'll notice, I've added a site meter and all of my friends' blogs off to the side. Feel free to check them out as well. I want to really build traffic to the site. Why? I don't know and I couldn't even tell you. Let's just say since I don't have the balls to actually write and perform the stand-up I've always said I was going to do, then I'll just write and perform here for you guys. And who knows, maybe along the way I'll say some important shit.
Until next time...
It's absolutely mind boggling how this huge this blogging craze has become. When I spoke to [NAME REDACTED] last and he mentioned his blog, he said "we've all got one." I took that as "Rusty, myself and maybe a couple of other people occassionally write in blogs." What it meant actually was "The world is blogging, where the fuck are you?"
I'll give you the 10 peso version of blogs. The term "blog" is short for "web log." Now "web log" is like the term "good looking lesbian." Supposedly they exist but no one's actually seen them. No one has a "web log." They have a forum where they can express their ideas without fear. For the first time, anyone with access to the internet can post their thoughts, feelings, commentary, and ideas without a gatekeeper rejecting anything.
It's like our own personal newspaper or periodical. Bloggers played a minor role in getting Bush back in office...so did John Kerry but I think he did that indirectly.
So this phenomenon (probably spelled that wrong, but it's my fucking blog, I can do that) has really turned into our mouthpiece where 0s and 1s can come together to form our thoughts for the masses. Look at the levels it can reach. Take Tony Simon for instance. The man is a VERY well known blogger and if you wanted to take it a step further, you could have a small argument that Matt Drudge is a blogger as well. The possibilities are endless.
You say you want a revolution? Well ya know, we all wanna blog the world.
Ponder that shit for a while.
Fuck Dodgeball...but 24 owns. The Jack Bauer Power Hour rolls on.
Thanks to everyone who said little encouraging things to me. I don't mean to bring my personal emotions to this blog...I really don't. But sometimes the only way to really get things off of my mind is to write them out. Since I have people asking for new blogs on a consistent basis (which is a great compliment...you actually give a damn what I write about), sometimes I just blog what I'm doing in my life without any kind of purpose as to why you should know.
Here's the picture of the day. I wonder who was having the most fun.
When I originally wanted to write this particular blog, I figured I'd spend an ample amount of time just talking about past Exs. Then I realized (after the first ex) that not only would this list suck, but also it'd be kinda short. So, I thought I'd take a minute to highlight those women I've never dated but always kinda wanted to because they're so worthwhile.
Here's a brief note though, just because you may or may not make this list doesn't mean anything. The girls that are on this list are there because I just happened to remember them and that doesn't mean I have profound feelings for them either. If I forgot you, bust my balls and let me know it and I'll be sure to add you later...if you're worthy...just kidding. Oh and if I don't add your last name to the list, it's because I probably don't know how to spell it and I'd feel bad for butchering it. You know who you are so don't wonder if it's you.
Now, let's begin:
Erin McCoy: Without a doubt the single greatest woman I've ever met. Think of "When Harry Met Sally" and that's Erin and myself. We could be best friends or married and it doesn't really matter to me either way. After watching her grow through some of the roughest experiences I've ever seen anyone face, I have an enormous amount of respect for her. I mean she has been the mom that Kalah and Timmy lost (along with Erin herself) and she has never complained one day about it. I know she has the weight of the world on her shoulders and she keeps unselfishly chugging along. Her character is outstanding and she's beautiful to boot. I'd marry her tomorrow if she'd say yes. That's just the truth.
Courtney Philips: Even in her spastic times she's always been a fantastic person. People admire tragedies and triumphs and that's what Courtney has had. At times, she's been all alone and still made it through only to come out strong. People have her differences with her and she's cool about that but I really believe she's one of the few people who liked me for who I was and maybe not who I knew or who knew me. To be genuine means a lot and I truly believe she is.
Stacy Gray: Isn't it ironic? Don't ya think? If you don't know Stacy, then you don't know Courtney and then you really won't get why I think it's funny to put the two of them back to back. People grow apart, shit happens, we move on. However, about Stacy. Flat out cute. I mean cute as buttons. Then she got HOT, and there's nothing better than hot cute girls. As far as her personality, very cutesy, but also very intelligent and is very much on the side of helping people. All she wants to do is understand things and that's a very childlike quality I wish more people had. Remember when you were 3 and a fucking tree was the coolest shit EVER? Stacy's like that. If you care, she cares and that speaks volumes in todays world.
Summer Saunders: OH MY GOD HOT. That was Summer. Like seriously, she was sweet, HOTTER THAN BLAZES, and for some reason, thought I was cool as shit. Kissing that woman was one of the best things I've ever gotten to do and I'd gladly let her drive Zeus again if she'd give me some more sugar.
Dana Collier: I know she's engaged so that's why I put the little warning label up top. I've heard nothing but good things about Andy so I'm sure it's going to be a wonderful marriage. I just had to add Dana to the list because she's just a phenomenal person. Very few people deserve her love.
Erin Batten: Man this one took me through the ringer. For a long time I actually considered us "dating" because apparently we were that close in my mind. Oh well. Flat out, the girl that's taken my bullshit and thrown in back in my face better than almost anyone (Dana Harrison was the first girl that actually threw my bullshit back in my face. She was the best at it). It didn't hurt that she is cute as hell, tiny like I like 'em, and country as grits.
Allison Platt: There has never EVER EVER been any more sexual tension between me and someone like between Allison and me. We met in Redcoats and never got around to dating because she was always taken when I was single and vice versa. Seriously, if she ever ends up single and I still am as well, I hope she remembers my number. But don't forget, aside from the sexual tension, this is one fantastic girl and extremely cute as well. Definitely, the kind you introduce to mom. For the record, I totally knew her last name, just needed help in spelling it.
Jen Miller: Kinda like Erin McCoy with this one. We've always been friends even though I briefly crushed on her at first when we met. However, she's always been one of my closest friends and I know she will continue to be throughout both of our lives. I just know that one day we'll have to kiss to see if anything's there but to be honest, I'd bank on saying we're better off friends. Don't know why, but it's worth trying out. I like gettin sugar.
Jen Lindberg: I haven't known this one for too long but from what I do know, she's fantastic. Not much to say really other than she's cute as buttons and has a pure, genuine heart. She's a good girl. There's a lot to be said about that.
Kalah McCoy: Yeah it's kinda wrong to enter two sisters into one blog, especially about dating but following in the footsteps of her sister, she's definitely worth bringing attention to. This girl is the total package and looks exactly like a Barbie Doll. Class, elegance, intelligence, and a sense of humor. She's awesome.
And for right now, that concludes the list of women I've never dated but at one time probably wanted to or that are just all around good for every guy. Just think of that list as a way of highlighting the most eligible and non-eligible bacholorettes out there. That makes no sense but neither do I.
Here's a couple of highlights and things that are coming up worth noting.
*Rusty and Ellen are paying me a visit this weekend. They'll be here Saturday night, which means I can sleep in on Saturday, wake up, get some good food, and then drink beer with old friends. I'm really looking forward to this...I haven't seen those two in a while.
*My trip to Athens on the 22nd I think has been canceled. While I'd love to go up, it's just not in the cards right now. I need to go to Wrens, Ga. on the 23rd for Amos' engagement function. This is the more important event and I haven't had the chance to celebrate their engagement like they've asked me to. At some point, I need to be a good friend and this is my chance.
*[NAME REDACTED]'S ROAST IS ON JUNE 4 AT TASTY WORLD IN ATHENS. Please believe that if Rusty and Tim allow me to, I will be roasting [NAME REDACTED]. I plan to move my day off from April 22 to June 3 just to make sure I get ample Athens time with old friends. I'm looking more forward to this function than I have any party I've ever been to. Best Idea EVER.
*Jeb graduates on May 14. Mark your calendars; I'll see you in Atlanta.
Until next time kids, be safe and God Bless.