Collage 3
The Dawg-gone Blog
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Sunday, April 24, 2005
Fair warning. I have said before that I don't like airing out my dirty laundry and while I don't enjoy it, sometimes it helps. It's like having a bad mood. Sometimes, it just helps to spread it around.

I don't think it's any big secret that I am single and don't like it. I have never enjoyed being a single guy. I don't know if that's from lack of confidence of finding another person to care for, or maybe it's just my nature to want to be with someone. I think it's a little of both honestly. However, being single is typically what I am and it's honestly what people view me as. There are two types of people out there: 1) those who always have a significant other(s) and 2) those who are perpetually single. I'm, of course, number two.

Most of the time this doesn't bother me. However, there are select times where this drives me absolutely crazy. Now before you keep on reading, I'd just like to state for the record, to all of my friends that have girlfriends and/or wives and have invited me to functions, I AM NOT BITCHING ABOUT YOU. I always enjoy hanging out with friends. Always. Whether you're married or not, please don't un-invite me to shit just because you're afraid I might take it the wrong way or get pissed by being a third or fifth wheel.

Today I got back from being at Amos and Sue-anna's for one of their many engagement parties, and while I had a wonderful time, I still could not help but wonder when this was going to happen to me. Those two kids are entirely happy together and I know they will be for the rest of their days. It's no secret that I have always been ready to settle down, even during my hardcore partying days at school. I think I have just functioned better as a person when I have someone to share my experiences. Now this may come off as too incredibly sappy but I could care less about sex. All I want is that old feeling back from when I was with Courtney, Kelly, or any other long-term relationship I've had. I miss kissing, cooking and waking up next to someone. Please believe, that's it. Sex, like Tennessee's football team, is overrated.

And ya know what I really don't like? When people tell me how great of a guy I am. I know y'all mean well, but ya know how crappy it is to hear someone tell you how awesome you are and then pick some piece of shit to date, or worse, they tell you how wonderful of a guy you are and then you stay single while they KEEP TELLING YOU. I mean I understand I'm a decent guy but my friends must be the only ones that think so because I'll be damn if anyone else does. People wonder why I'm on this huge quest to lose weight and all I have to do is point them to all the friends I have in Savannah...all zero of them (if you exclude the ones from work). We live in a looks-based society and unless I change mine real soon, I'll be single for a long time. Truth be known, I don't expect anyone to date someone they're not attracted to, so obviously I'm an unattractive guy. And please, don't post comments rejecting my ideas and opinions on this. There's a reason I'm still single, let's not ignore it so I can save face. Hell I'll be the first guy to say I don't like dating overweight women. I'm not going to be hypocritical and bitch about no one wanting to date me.

The reason I was so upset when Courtney and I split was that it truly fucked up my five-year plan. I mean fucked it ALL up. I had always dreamed I would know whom I was going to marry by the time I graduated. Mainly because I knew in the real world, it'd be tougher to meet people. So, of course I was shattered when it was over. Now what I should've done is picked myself up and started a little relationship here and there with the people I know I could've dated instead of biding my time until I moved away. I could've learned how to effectively date (I still have no game, no clue about game and I could give less of a damn about game) and that probably would've helped down here.

Basically, today I'm using my blog as my own personal journal as opposed to my political mouthpiece. I'm totally jealous of Amos and Sue-anna because I think we all know how lucky both are to have the other one. I assume I'll be taken soon enough, but it's not happening at a rate that I'm happy with (of course no one gets that luxury) and with times increasingly getting tougher, something's got to give. All I do know is that this is my journey and times will get bumpy before they get smooth. The plane might be going down, but at least my seats double as flotation devices (that's the best I could come up with).

Until next time kids...

Be safe.

"Tell her,
Tell her she can kiss my ass, then laugh and say that you were only kidding
That way she’ll know that it’s really, really, really, really me, me"

~~ R.E.M. "The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite"
Blogger Weird Alaska Freak said...
"And ya know what I really don't like? When people tell me how great of a guy I am."

Amen dude. A-freakin'-men.

Blogger JOJO said...
I agree with ya man, I was not sure weither or not i wanted to comment on this one this has never been our area to relate, but you know what i have figured out game sucks. I wish i had your social skills. You are better than anyone i know at getting women to spend time and have a conversation with you. When you get a game plan that works for taking it to the next step your gonna be unstopable, and i really mean that.

Blogger Brett said...
I don't think you're a great guy.

Blogger Ludakit said...
Yeah Brett, fuel the fire that will be roasting your ass on June 4. That's a GREAT idea.

Blogger Michael said...
Three points to consider...

1) You really should be enjoying the set-up you have right now. You have more disposable income now than you will ever have in your life. The majority of the world's marketing is directed right at you. Sports, pizza, beer, cars...everything is made with you in mind.

2) You have absolutley no control over what it is you're complaining about. Do you understand? NO CONTROL. No matter what you do, in the end it comes down to a women's whims. The sooner your realize this, the better chance you have of being at peace with this.

3) If you ever become too concerned with #2, remember #1.

These points won't cure your ills, but they can help you through those dark times.

Good luck

Blogger Ludakit said...
I appreciate it, but actually you're wrong about two things:

1) Most of the world's advertising is not directed towards the male consumer. In fact, a VAST majority of advertising is aimed at the female consumer. If you want proof, just ask Clear Channel Worldwide who prefers their stations and advertising skew female instead of male. Just because all we watch is sports and beer is the only thing that quenches our thirst, that doesn't necessarily mean all of it is directed our way. Almost all of male advertising still has a female skew, even if it's not obvious.

2) Speak for yourself on the disposable income. I'm dirt fucking poor. That is NOT an exaggeration.

Blogger georgiagirl said...
hmmm -
how to respond. honestly....
Russ, I love you. I will always love you and don't regret anything about us! If you are threatened by what I am about to write, we really need to talk, but I think you and I know this about each other so here we go.
Kit - enjoy this time, even if you are poor and alone, this is a great time to get to know yourself. It'll make you a better person in the long run and thus a easier person to be "in love with".
Secondly, one day, when you are happily married and your wife is preggers you'll realize that there are people in your personal life that you are curious about, that perhaps it would have been fun to kiss or hug or ________. It'll be your "what if" list. I have one, we all do. You have a free pass right now - enjoy your alone time and enjoy your what if list.
Lastly, chances are, if you feel like you are flirting, or if someone "says" you are flirting, chances are, you are considering this person for your list. If this person's partner says you're flirting... you are probably on a "what if" list.
I hope that made sense, I am on a conference call and multi-tasking limits my ability to write well. Hang in there, in due time and trust me, with every step of life comes another level of - "I really want that, why can't I have it"!

Blogger Gunner said...
To borrow a phrase: I really want a beer...and to see something naked. Guess my "what if's" are on the down slope...