So Amos' Bachelor Party was last weekend.
That should let you know, Mr. Maley, to NEVER EVER EVER let me plan another bachelor party. By the way, I'm never getting married because I'm aware that payback is a bitch.
Here's a quick rundown of what we did (edited for the kids at home):
1. Rented a 2005 Yukon XL with leather, Bose system, and DVD.
2. Arranged times for people to arrive and dinner times at Outback.
3. Amos picked up Tim Smith at a time much later than even I expected. It's been known that Amos is late, but he was really late, making his punishment worse. In fact, he was so late that I got to make up the joke "We always know Amos is late seeing us, but when he sees his fiancee, the only 'late' she knows has 'Premature Ejacu' in front of it." It was a good one if I say so myself.
4. Went to Outback and ate like it was our last meal. 2 Points for us being the loudest table there by far as well. Quick shout-out to the MILFs that sat across from us.
5. Went to my house for a Pregame Celebration. I stayed sober, but to give you an idea of what happened, I'll say that I'm out of Tequila.
6. Made Amos' "Say Goodbye to Bachelor Life" DVD. A must-see for anyone over the age of 18.
7. Went to a local classy establishment where 100 beers went to 15 and lots of hooting, hollering and etc. I don't want to give away details but I will let you know that Amos was beat so bad he almost started screaming "My name is Kunta Kinte."
8. Madness ensues, place closes, we take Tim back to the hotel.
9. Line of the night:
"Hey guys, do you know what that is?"
10. Passed out.
Big thanks to everyone who came. I know it meant a lot to Amos and it really meant a lot to me because I was in charge of planning it. You guys saved my ass. Just kidding...kinda. We'll see most, if not all, of you next weekend. Thanks again, it was definitely a time to remember.
And Amos, I gave you a lot of shit, but you know I'm really excited for you. I have to be. Sue-Anna would KILL me if I was in dissention about it. You've found a good one, my friend. Hold on tight.
Until next time kids.