It turns out I'm a huge dork.

Like a gigantic dork.

And I fucking love it.

You see, coolness is not something I have really yearned for my entire life. Of course, being a chubby kid, there's a lot that could happen to you that could scar you for life. Lord knows I lived in fear of swimming with my shirt off or being called names and things like that when I was young. Now, I could give less of a shit. Once that puberty thing happened, I really just stopped caring (to an extent of course) of whether or not people thought I was cool. Mainly I just said what was on my mind and tried to be nice to everyone. For some reason, people thought that kind of brutal honesty, sound advice, and even more solid friendship made me a cool person.

So then I got to thinking (and I've only done this "thinking" thing lately), why was I considered "cool*?"

*For all intents and purposes, I'm assuming people think I'm actually cool.

Then it turns out to be that according to society, I'm NOT cool. I'm totally not cool. I don't set trends, I'm funny but that doesn't make me cool, and I don't have cute hair like I used to. In fact, I'm slowly balding and what isn't bald is quietly becoming gray and it's getting worse by the day.

So, if I'm not cool, then what am I?

Well, I'm not a geek or a nerd because I do feel as if I have personality. Personality takes you out of such societal atrosities (sp?) as geekiness and nerdiness and places you in one gigantic category: The Dork.

And I fucking love it. Chicks dig dorks. Dorks are smart and passionate and sensitive. Which, by the way, is everything I claim to be. Dorks don't fuck their girlfriend's best friends and/or sisters and dorks tend to have some sort of a moral compass. Their dorkiness, and not their looks, makes them attractive. Something I've had to deal with my entire life.

I am a dork.

You see, every day this week I've come home and watched The O.C. Season One on DVD. I can't get enough of it. The damn show is so witty that if it wasn't a drama, it'd be like Sportscenter without the sports. And I got to thinking that I'd really like to be Seth. You know Seth, the frat boy without the frat who is incredibly witty but with dimples and bed hair. I would love to be that guy. BUT I'M NOT THAT GUY. You know who I am?

Sandy (Peter Gallagher without the eyebrows). Just as witty, not as good looking, and most of the time, I feel like I'm a parent when looking after those that are close to me. Hell I'll take it because his TV wife is fucking hot.

So, let's go over what I am. I'm a dork. The kind that probably fell in love with his best friend (not best guy friend you asses) and was always the "perfect boy" but never the "perfect boyfriend." Being a child of the 80s, I'm a hopeless romantic and love movies with good music that was created for a specific scene in said movie (see "Breakfast Club", "Weird Science", etc.).

And the best part about it is that I'm not cool, but I'm cool with that.

Today's lesson kids is that today I feel like I'm on the cusp of the rest of my life. You know, the kind of feeling you get when you just know you're about to meet a great girl. It's that "knot in the gut" thing. Something good is about to happen I think. And I'll be right there with a witty comeback, nervous hands, and a little self conciousness to perfectly execute my dorkiness.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some sleep to catch up on. I'd say beauty rest, but I'm a dork, not a metrosexual.

Until next time kids.

Be safe.