Man I'm feeling much better today. I can't even begin to tell you how liquor goes hand in hand with soul searching. Am I still missin the girl? Of course I am, but not like yesterday. Today is much much better. Reality called, it apparently wanted me back. She's missin me a little too and that's all that matters. Everything else will play itself out and I got a plan. I haven't told her yet because she's at work but I know she'll be fine with it so I'm feelin good man. Feelin really good...and I haven't even poured my first drink of the night yet.
Just to sum up what I've decided I'll revert back to that "breaking point" I discussed in the previous blog. While I do believe she is a great girl, I got afraid of losing her completely after having a week-long visit with an outcome neither of us expected. What I really don't want to happen is for her and I to not have a friendship. The way things are now sucks and I know she agrees. As soon as I can tell her that, things will be back to normal I hope. Honestly, this past week was great, but I'd forget it all if I could have her call me again on her breaks or before she goes to bed. She'd be a helluva girlfriend to someone, but right now, I would really just like her to be a great friend to me until something tells both of us to move in a different direction, if that even happens at all. If it doesn't, that's cool too. It's just the way it's supposed to be. I don't know the future but I know today and I have an idea about tomorrow. Past that, I'm tired of worrying about things I can't control. Honestly, I'm quite content with just having her in my life. Besides, if the roles were reversed, she'd be a great friend to me, so I shouldn't drag her down with my own fears and selfishness. For what I've put her through, I'm really sorry. I hope one way or the other, she finds that out.
Sorry for airing out all my personal biz, but I write for my own piece of mind and no one else's. So if you don't like it, get over it.
Amos' wedding is still this weekend. Apparently they're actually going to tie the knot. I'm absolutely cool with that since Amos isn't going to find a better woman. She's good lookin too, which never hurts. Cheers to them.
[NAME REDACTED], haven't heard anything from ya as far as the move, but I will be honest, all the memories you're conjuring up in your posts are excluding me. Maybe you don't like me that much after all. I mean I only gave you 5 years worth of headaches. Rusty's been doing that for a lot longer than me.
I wish I could see all you guys this weekend but I have a job interview and then I'm immediately leaving Atlanta for the bustling metropolis of Wrens.
Like I said, it should be fun.
Thanks for all the people that were concerned about me. It's good to know I got friends in low places. By the way, y'all keep my friend Stacy in your thoughts. She lost her father about a week ago and I know it's tough on her. She's a strong girl, though and should be just fine. It's just a tough situation. As much as I bitch, please understand that off the record, I'm quite thankful for the life, family, and friends I have. Without them, I'd be nothing...no shit.
Until next time kids.