Everyone knows that I'm a big fan of competition in all forms. However, on Friday evening I found a new kind of competition that I'm not a fan of at all. Take a look at the photos below and see if you think Machine or Beast won.













So now you've seen the machine. Since I didn't have a camera to take pictures of the Beast, I'll just describe it as a small sized deer no larger than a Great Dane. When I hit said deer, it LITERALLY (no, I'm not bullshitting at all) flew 20 yards in the air and landed firmly, then laid there for a second and passed out. Being the nice person that I am, I felt badly that I didn't have any kind of gun or knife to put the Beast out of its misery. Just know, that what that animal went through, it couldn't have felt good.

So who won?

Beast.

The above story is entirely true but with one important cog left out...

The damn deer laid on the ground for 10 minutes to garner sympathy from me, sat up, looked at me, stood up, looked at me again to say "I'm sorry about that," and ran off into the woods. Now's the part where all the women breathe a sigh of relief (PETA lovers included) and the men say "Oh hell no."

Anyone making deer anytime soon? I want a bite.

Until next time kids.

Be safe.

P.S. -- If you see me driving a Kia anytime within the next month (I'm assuming the ETA on getting the Batmobile fixed is sometime within a month), don't laugh at me. Please.