Collage 3
The Dawg-gone Blog
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Saturday, November 05, 2005
Everyone knows that I'm a big fan of competition in all forms. However, on Friday evening I found a new kind of competition that I'm not a fan of at all. Take a look at the photos below and see if you think Machine or Beast won.

Entire front

Right Front

Passenger side

Driver side

Closer front

Close up

So now you've seen the machine. Since I didn't have a camera to take pictures of the Beast, I'll just describe it as a small sized deer no larger than a Great Dane. When I hit said deer, it LITERALLY (no, I'm not bullshitting at all) flew 20 yards in the air and landed firmly, then laid there for a second and passed out. Being the nice person that I am, I felt badly that I didn't have any kind of gun or knife to put the Beast out of its misery. Just know, that what that animal went through, it couldn't have felt good.

So who won?


The above story is entirely true but with one important cog left out...

The damn deer laid on the ground for 10 minutes to garner sympathy from me, sat up, looked at me, stood up, looked at me again to say "I'm sorry about that," and ran off into the woods. Now's the part where all the women breathe a sigh of relief (PETA lovers included) and the men say "Oh hell no."

Anyone making deer anytime soon? I want a bite.

Until next time kids.

Be safe.

P.S. -- If you see me driving a Kia anytime within the next month (I'm assuming the ETA on getting the Batmobile fixed is sometime within a month), don't laugh at me. Please.
Blogger Russell said...
Fuck that. I'm callin Jim Cox and we are going to hunt down that rude son of a Bambi and make a tasty stew out of him. I'll call you when dinner is ready.

Blogger Stacy said...
Ouch... :(

But hey, when I was getting my car fixed, they let me drive a 2005 Dodge Durango! Be optimistic! :)

I'm willing to bet it died later of internal bleeding and hemmeroids.

We can hope, right?

Blogger Dave said...
Damn dude... that sucks. Sorry to hear.

Blogger Judge Joe Brown said...
LOL! Bambi beat your ass!

Btw, what the hell does "SCION" mean anyway? It's probably German for "crushes upon impact with lightweight deer."

***And a future lol at the possibility of you driving a KIA!

Blogger Jenn Babe said...
at least the dear was ok...IM KIDDING! I LOVE THE BATMOBILE! :( i sowy

Anonymous Anonymous said...
You shoulda gone for the bunny when you had the u, Court

Blogger Gunner said...
May I recommend the venison burger? It is served on a fender pilaf with a 10-w-30 weight vinagrette, and garnished with a hood ornament...

Anonymous Tim said...
OMFG...HAHAHAHAHA wait a minute... yes damnit i wanna venison burger

Blogger Stacy said...
Now, I know you wrote this post 3 years ago...but, I have deer meat from a 178 pounder, and I'll be more than happy to share a bite with ya ;)