Since I'm in the "self proclaimed funk" I thought I'd do something funny, abrasive, and disrespectful.

By the way, I'm not dying people, I'm just in a week-long bad mood. I appreciate your love, I really do, but no need to call the dogs out looking for me. I'm fine. Just pissy.

Anyway, so in an attempt to let out some of the frustration, I decided to so something I haven't done in a long time, which is basically to flash back to my college days when I said what I wanted to who I wanted and who gives a damn who gets pissed off in the process?

So, here's my little quiz:

HOW BIG OF A DOUCHEBAG ARE YOU??

Please answer all these questions honestly:

1. Do you say...
a. Go Dawgs.
b. Go Dogs.
c. Go Georgia.
d. Go Gators.

2. When addressing a crowd you say...
a. Hey everyone!
b. Y'all listen up.
c. Yo.
d. Peep this niggas.

3. Today, when you were in the elevator, you hummed along with the Muzak (excluding "Take On Me"...which owns)
a. True.
b. False

4. Your favorite movie is...
a. Rocky.
b. Rocky Horror Picture Show.
c. "Rocky Stopped" the demise of UT.
d. "Rocky Roads" a weight loss video.

5. Your ideal woman/man is...
a. Like you.
b. Opposite of you.
c. Is great in the sack, but has shit to say.
d. "You mean they ain't all great?"

6. You watch Jeopardy...
a. To see how smart you are.
b. To watch Nerds in action.
c. Just to see if you can finally get Final Jeopardy right.
d. So you can say "Eat that shit Trebek!!!"

7. You favorite drink is...
a. Everything.
b. Cold.
c. Free.
d. Yours.
e. None of the above.

8. You have bought tampons for the girlfriend/made the boyfriend buy tampons for you.
a. True.
b. False.

9. You are actually taking this quiz.
a. True.
b. False.
c. Fuck you, it's YOUR quiz.

10. To get a rile out of someone, you...
a. Pick out a physical feature and make fun of it.
b. Try and be the bigger person and take it in stride.
c. Beat the shit out of them.
d. Wait until they say something stupid and then REALLY get in their grill.

BONUS:

Motley Crue:
a. Awesome band.
b. Tommy Lee is the whole show.
c. No talent ass clowns.
d. As much of a one trick pony as your mom in the sack.


Ok, now it's time to tally up your totals:

In order, the point totals for the different questions.

1.
a = 0
b = 1
c = 2
d = auto douchebag

2.
a = 2
b = 1
c = 3
d = 0

3.*
a = 5
b = 0
* = if you drummed any part of this song: auto douchbag...even "Take on Me"

4.
a = 1
b = 2
c = 0
d = 3

5.
a = 2
b = 1
c = 3
d = 0

6.
a = 3
b = 1
c = 2
d = 0

7.
a = 1
b = 0
c = 0
d = 0
e = Liar.....and auto douchebag.

8.
a = auto douchebag
b = 0

9.
a = 1
b = 2
c = -3

10.
a = 3
b = 2
c = 1
d = 0

BONUS:
a = 5
b = 2
c = -5
d = -2



Now talley them up kids...



Here's your legend:

1-10 : Congrats, you are not a douchebag, but just a regular person with a good head on your shoulders.

11 - 20 : You're getting there. I'd be careful about your next few moves. You might just find yourself bordering being the person everyone hates...behind your back of course.

21 - 30 : You're a douchebag. Everyone knows it and if you disagree with me, you're kidding yourself. Hell you knew you were one before you started taking this quiz. Why in the hell would you punish yourself like that?

Ah. All in a days work.

Oh lighten up. You're not REALLY douchebag. You're just as bored as I was when I made this shit up. At least you had fun.

Until next time kids.

Be safe.

P.S. -- I got a 2. The Bonus saved me b/c I HATE THE CRUE. What'd you get?