Collage 3
The Dawg-gone Blog
Official Sponsor of "Clean, Old-Fashioned Hate" Since 1981
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I know it's been a while since I wrote a List (or even blogged in general for that matter), but when your boss tells you at lunch one day "I really like your blog.  It's REALLY funny," you kind of back off the thing for a moment.

But my sabbatical couldn't last forever.  Hell, there's enough on here to probably get me fired from ANY job as it is, so there's no point in stopping now, right?

So in the spirit of a long day and a bad day (both today) I give you:

The Ten Things I Really Truly Hate At This Very Moment:

10.  Mock Drafts -- Honestly, do we really need another 2009 Mock Draft?  How many times can Matt Stafford and Knowshon Moreno be cursed for the upcoming season? It's not enough to say that the Dawgs are the team to beat, but then to essentially place college football's version of the "Madden Curse" on our two studs just puts Murphy's Law into overdrive.  So, all you pundits out there, shut up.  Please.  My team, myself and the National Championship trophy we yearn to have at the end of the season needs you to just shut the f*ck up.  

9.  Being Stuck in Atlanta -- I can't even begin to tell you how badly I want to haul ass to Athens for an extended week of relaxation and cheap drinking.  Sure, my liver is against it, but the rest of the flesh is dying for it.  2008 has been an absolute whirlwind for me so far (which I've very thankful for), but I need a break.  My brain is like Barack Obama's PR director; overworked and f*cking tired.

8.  Facebook -- Damn you for making me addicted to you.  I have personally wished more people happy birthday this week than I have in the past two years combined.  Don't get me wrong, it's nice to finally have the ability to tell a friend happy birthday instead of doing what I always do and forget and apologize profusely afterwards, but still.  I live for the day when someone says "Facebook Me" and I say "Huh?"

7.  Drunk Ass Businessmen -- Like the ones sitting to my immediate left.  No, the four attractive girls in this place DO NOT think you're hot sh*t and laughing louder does not mean that you're more fun than anyone else in this place.  Don't get me wrong, I'm envious of the ability to travel around with your buddies and drink on the company's dime, but then again if I were to do it, I wouldn't constantly be on the prowl for girls who I know I have no shot with.  Drunk Ass Businessmen act like they never left the strip club and it's annoying.

6.  Fox -- Yeah, the cable giant.  Since I'm still without cable, it's annoying when a company tells you their episodes of House will be online 8 days after the show airs and then 9 days later it still hasn't happened.  Not like you guys care or anything.  I mean with that Emmy you won for being lucky enough to broadcast the Boise St. vs. Oklahoma Fiesta Bowl.  

5.  The Offseason -- Did anyone realize that some of the biggest playmakers we're expecting still haven't arrived on campus yet?  Seriously, can August get here quickly enough?  Hell I'll just take practice reports for right now.  Thankfully the Dawgs are getting studs like Austin Long (the self-proclaimed lifelong Florida fan) to join what is shaping up to be one of the best recruiting classes I've seen in a long time.

4.  Not Being Able to Sit Outside -- Hey, remember this list is the Ten Things I Hate At This Very Moment.  Sure, that's a weak one, but it's really digging on my nerves for some reason.

3.  The Boston Celtics -- Earlier this season I really wanted them to win it all because I really like KG.  Paul Pierce also deserves some credit because he's been on really good teams and really bad teams and stuck it out.  But when you play the hometown Hawks and you let them WIN, then I'm going to start rooting for the underdogs.  It is what it is.  I still kind of hope Boston wins, though.  I really don't want to see the Hawks advance only to lose in the next round.

2.  My Bank Account -- Oh, health insurance, you fickle mistress.  Not only did you drain me for the tune of $700 for 2 1/2 months of coverage, but then the new health insurance kicks in LATER than I was originally told.  So here I am, at a bar, drinking, pissed off and doing all this without health insurance.  So, when the time comes and I either a) get drunk and all or b) get my ass kicked by someone for mouthing off, you'll understand why I'm all of a sudden in the hole $20,000.  Ok, so I'm kidding about the getting drunk and falling thing.  But don't be surprised if I finally tote the ass whipping I've deserved for years now.

1.  Sports Journalists -- I'm not of the mindset that Buzz Bissinger is the devil.  I'm sure he's written plenty of WONDERFUL articles about some sh*t.  His prose probably kicks my prose's ass and then spits on it when it's down.  BUT, I'm sick and f*cking tired of being considered stupid, pointless, ridiculous, lonely, poor, and a failure because sports journalists like him are worried that they might be out of a job soon.  Look, the internet has opened up a myriad of different avenues for plenty of people.  Do I agree with Will Leitch (Deadspin author) that he should have posted up pictures of Matt Leinhart having fun in his jacuzzi with scantily clad women?  I don't know.  Maybe.  I mean he's a public figure, but I do think it was a little bit of a cheap shot.  However,  because I can write doesn't mean that I'm reckless or irresponsible.  

It DOES mean that I have the access and ability to express my OPINION however I choose.  I'm not trying to break any news stories or denigrate any players or anything like that.  I occasionally take cheap shots at coaches and schools, but isn't that the f*cking point of being a fan????  Just because I have a keyboard doesn't mean that I'm encroaching on your territory.  Hell, you'll even notice that at the end of every post it says "Journalistic Integrity Compromised at (time)."  I ain't denying that I'm not a sports journalist.  I just used a double negative for heaven's sake!!

Now, when I sit in the press box, I'll be a little more objective, but guess-the-f*ck-what?  I'M NOT IN THE PRESS BOX!  I can be as biased and ill-informed as I want to be because it's my right as a fan.  I'm here to see what I see and slap down some opinions about it.  I'M the one that's lucky enough to be able to have people read the stupid sh*t that I write.  One day, Mr. Bissinger, you'll realize that there is room for both of us at the table.  Well, there's room, but your table is a dinosaur and my table is the next big thing.  You see, as a member of the advertising world I can tell you that print is dying and it would serve you well to get the hell out ASAP.  Of course, you could just ask your paper to let you have your own blog online.  That might help some.


Anyway, so there's my List.  I hope you enjoyed it.

Until next time kids.

Be safe.

Labels: , , , , , , ,

Blogger Matt T said...
I got drunk on St. Patrick's day 07 fell and broke my ankle. 2 surgeries later, its as good as its going to get.

So don't fall!