The Dawg-gone Blog

The Dawg-gone Blog
Official Sponsor of "Clean, Old-Fashioned Hate" Since 1981

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

The List

This week is flying by so far, which is bad and good because 1) I feel like this week's going to be hell at work (bad) and 2) I'm ready to whip Steve Spurrier and the Gamecocks' collective asses on Saturday (good). Hell, it's moving by so quickly that I was trying to think of things to write about when I realized that it was time for this week's List already.

So, let's get to some mild hilarity and talk a little bit about...

The Ten Things I'm Already Over in Regards to This Season:

10) Polls -- Man if I have to hear about one more voter and his bias or one more coach and how wrong he's got it, I'm going to nut the f*ck up. Seriously, nothing matters until the end of the season and the paranoia has got to stop about UGA being the next Auburn from 2004. If we go undefeated, we play for the crystal football. End of story. So, why don't we as fans just focus on that? I mean if we're distracted, then the media is distracted. If the media's distracted, then it'll distract our players.

9) Mark May -- I say it all the time, but I HATE Mark May. Like stab him in the eye with a rusty nail, piss in his cornflakes & sh*t in his mashed potatoes, somewhere between Barbara Streisand and Ben Stiller kind of hate. I pray that one day Rece Davis does what we're all thinking about doing and jumps up and Bloodsport's Mark May right in the throat on national TV. Rece is cool, too. He just might do it. (Image: "I'm a pony! I'm a pony!")

8) The Craptacular Big Ten (11) and Big East -- These two conferences right now are glorified mid-majors littered with teams that used to be flat out good. Now they're full of teams like Michigan, Syracuse, South Florida & Louisville. Honestly, I could care less whenever these teams play. Ohio State's a good team, but if they go undefeated, could you really say that they deserve to play for the title? I mean other than USC and Penn State, who else do they play that's worth a damn? Bueller?

7) Notre Dame's Demise and What a Travesty It Is -- 100% of me really loves to see Notre Dame struggle for no other reason than to see Jimmy Clausen fail. I don't mind Charlie Weiss, but I don't really care for him either. However, I haven't been able to stand Jimmy Clausen since he announced his commitment to Notre Dame at the College Football Hall of Fame. It would suit me just fine if that was as close as he'll ever come to actually being honored there. However, if you take his arrogance out of the equation, he's still a Clausen and that's reason enough for me to hate him. What I really can't stand though is how the media is consistently talking about how not-good Notre Dame is. Hello? Did y'all watch any of those games last year? Of course, I shouldn't be surprised in the media's "surprise." I mean these are the same people who think that Florida's Defense is so much better than last year's.

6) The Schedule -- This is self-explanatory. We only play one game at a time. Yeah I know it's a tough schedule all in all, but honestly, is there any reason to get ahead of ourselves?

5) Not Having Cable -- Yeah, this kind of falls under the "General Kit Stuff" category, but can I tell you how crappy it is to not have cable during football season? Seriously, I didn't mind it when I didn't have cable in the summer and nothing was on TV anyway, but I have literally found nearly every corner of the internet that I care to find and I'm ready to watch the talking picture box, damn it. Thankfully, I have a neighbor that I used to work with that has cable, but still, it sucks.

4) The Facilities Arms Race -- It seems like every five minutes a new building is going up somewhere that's going to be the best in the country. Oklahoma State's video about their facilities is pretty damn impressive and Tennessee's pictures of the revamped Neyland Stadium and locker rooms isn't too shabby either. All this can mean is that UGA will continue to upgrade to keep pace, which will ultimately mean higher donations and cutoff scores and essentially keep me from ever getting season tickets. Ugh.

3) All the Hoopla Over Tim Tebow -- We get it. He won the Heisman last year. His stats are gaudy. He's generally a nice guy. He can perform intricate penis surgeries on people in the Philippines. Can we get over it now? That was last year. This year, he's again captain of Teh Greatest Offense EVAH!!1!!11!! and so far, Florida hasn't really lived up to the hype. However, I'll take him rushing the ball 20-25 times a game like he's still doing any day. Gators can bitch and moan all they want to about Tebow being hurt last year. That's your coach's fault, not ours. Get a running game and Tebow won't get banged up.

2) Urban Meyer -- Urban Meyer is upwards around the "Mark May" area of hatred, but it just so happens that he gets that added bump because he's the coach of the Florida Gators. Now, we already know Urban's tactics of lying to recruits (see: "No, Jevan. We're recruiting Tebow to play linebacker."), but his need to pile on the score is something that is very Spurrier-esque, but without the funny quips that go along with it. Spurrier liked to pile it on, but at least he admitted it. Urban's got this "bad deal" thing about the Celebration, but then he wants to talk about "moving on" when asked about his meaningless field goal at the end of the UF-UM game the other night. One thing he might need to remember though is that Randy Shannon's been to hell and back throughout his personal life. It might do Urban well not to piss off a man that could drop him like a bad habit. (By the way, that link goes to a great story about Randy Shannon. It's lengthy, but worth the read)

1) The ESPN Conspiracy Against UGA -- GIVE IT A REST PEOPLE! ESPN hates everyone. They hate you, they hate me and they hate apple pie. However, they are the leaders of the sports information world. So, for all you folks on the message boards that had a collective meltdown regarding Knowshon and his hurdle not being played on any highlights Saturday, you have to give it a rest. Trust me, if we win our games, we'll get our 15 minutes of fame. Piss off ESPN though and all you'll get is anti-UGA sentiment if and when we do lose one. How about we let our players do the jaw-dropping plays and we enjoy it for what it is? If it doesn't make the highlights, who cares? It sucks, but it's not the end of the world. I'd rather just not see us do something stupid like spend hours on the internet blasting the World Wide Leader. However, if you want to blast Jim Rome or Mark May, you're more than welcome to. Hell, I'll even join in.

So, there's the List for this week. We'll get another post in tomorrow night before scouting South Carolina on Thursday evening.

Until next time kids.

Be safe.

Labels: College Football, Stupid People, The List, UGA Football

Journalistic integrity compromised at 7:38 PM.

1 comments

1 Comments:

Anonymous said...

ESPN may not hate Georgia specifically, but they definitely don't hate everybody. They don't hate LSU, they don't hate Ohio State, they don't hate USC, and they sure as hell don't hate Timmy Tebow and the University of Florida Urban Criers.

Pretty much with you on the rest of the 10.

7:27 PM