Collage 3
The Dawg-gone Blog
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Monday, November 17, 2008
Because your ass is mine.

No, not you specifically. I'm speaking to Mr. Anonymous, who also posted the same lame duck, gratuitous dumbassitude comment on The Good Senator's blog under the name "Thomas Brown."

You see, when I woke up this morning, I noticed this novella-length post by some dude who, at first, tried to make some semblance of an argument, but it slowly fell into this area usually reserved for the writers of the new Knight Rider. So, as a result of a sort of bad day, I'm going to go ahead and blast this guy with everything I have. I hope you all enjoy. And for the record, I'm NOT annoyed with this guy and he didn't get under my skin. I'm just having some good-natured-Ari Gold-inspired-fun.

I can handle someone making an argument that suggests we haven't recruited positions like on the OL well. Hell, that's the truth. We haven't recruited that area well excluding the past two seasons. However, that was the fault of a man named Calloway, who's now the problem at UAB.

I can also handle someone saying that we're underperforming at certain positions, because we are. We're certainly underperforming at the safety position. We're underperforming at some of the DB positions. We're underperforming at TE for sure.

But the ridiculousness of your argument lies in the fact that you make NO F*CKING SENSE. There's a saying I like to use a lot and it crosses all barriers. From the idiot fan, to the loser of the street fight and all the way to the winner of the spelling bee. That phrase is simply "Act like you've been there before."

You, sir, act like a spoiled child who knows nothing of football, coaching or what it's like to be a grown man. Your ignorance is baffling, your cowardice is annoying and your points are pointless. Right now, you're indebted to me for a good 10 minutes because after reading your post earlier today, I was actually insulted that someone that dumb would leave a comment like that on MY blog. That's like spitting on the Mona Lisa. They should've never let you through the door with your plaid, cut off shirt and jean shorts.

You can say that we've have players underperform, but your ridiculous notions that we're losing games and underperforming because we haven't recruited good enough TEs and DEs is staggeringly stupid. We are missing quality DE play for sure, but it's damn sure not because we don't have the athletes. Trust me, we do. You also can't say that we have done a poor job of recruiting TEs because Figgins was highly rated, White was highly rated and Chandler has been a warrior for us, regardless of the stigma that he's not consistent. He's damn sure one of the most dominating blockers we've had at that position in a long time. On top of that, I'd give you $50 to see you walk up to Big Bruce Figgins himself and tell him he's not worth the "G" on his helmet. He's playing through a bum shoulder, but I guarantee you he'd whip yours real nice with just one good arm.

Then, you dumb son of a bitch, you have the audacity and direct stupidity to post this run-on-sentence gem (not only on my blog, mind you but again, word for word on The Good Senator's as well)

And, to the totally oblivious to all this who know nothing of college football who now say they are unhappy and dissatisfied with a 2-Loss Season when we were ranked Preseason Number 1 with all these wastes of Scholarships at some positions while disregarding other positions totally on the roster, please FIND YOURSELF A DIFFERENT TEAM TO ROOT FOR because I said we would Lose 2 games this season in every single post I ever posted on this blog as a direct result of the fact that we are clueless to sign 17 players at one position all in 1 year and then not fill any other position, then the following year sign 17 at some other position and have them all mature together without redshirting them all or playing them all in the same year to spread it out at that position, and have others who everyone was quite aware would actually never fit in at their position with what we otherwise already have at their position here.

First of all, you haven't posted something this moronic on MY blog because this place is like school. A couple of visits to this space of the internet and I would have educated your ignorant ass. 

You want to be an irrational asshole, go find another space of the internet to do it because I can't have you dumbing down my readership who are unfortunate enough to skim your mindless dribble. You ain't worth the red and black you swear to follow. Let's give you the benefit of the doubt and agree that you called us losing two games this year. Congrats man, you're one of THOUSANDS who did the same thing. 

And if you want to be the fool that is upset that we recruited kids like Knowshon Moreno even when we didn't have running backs that were seniors at the time and, in your eyes, it wasn't a need at the time, I'd much rather give one of the most electric players since Reggie Bush a scholarship here than to have him get one at any other school in the nation. 

Now if you can handle yourself, and act like a responsible worth-his-damn-salt fan and want to respond to me calling you a f*cking fool, go ahead and knock yourself out. I'll give you a fair shot to do so.

However, if you'd like to waste my time and everyone else's time by posting the same mindless dribble across all blogs, I'd much rather see you go somewhere else and do that. Let me suggest If you're going to pretend to be someone who knows a sh*t about football, you can do it on a blog that's a pretender as well.

Are we finished? I think we are.

You know the drill kids. Until next time, I want you to all be safe. However:

Until next time Mr. Anonymous.

You can go f*ck yourself.


Anonymous Senator Blutarsky said...
Kit, check out #39 on Doug's list:

I find it's generally easier to ignore him, as long as he doesn't get personal.

Blogger tony said...
whoa, Whoa, WHOA. You used the title of my blog to describe the anonymous novel writer? I guess that's what I get for not updating in months.

Blogger Ludakit said...

I reference your blog title with love and admiration. A name that good deserves to be used as a put-down to someone who displays those true qualities. Not as a put-down to someone who just has a kick-ass name for a blog.

Blogger j.leonardjr said...
Kit...I blame you for the 10 minutes of my life that I will never get back after reading this moron's comments on GTP.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Mom says be nice.