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Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Stafford and Moreno going to the NFL
It became official at 3:00 today. I'll get into the break down of the press conference and my thoughts on it later (when I have time to write), but in the meantime, check out my Examiner.com write up about it.

If you're wondering what I'm thinking. I'm thinking we're fine. Maybe better the fine. I'll get more into it later, but I'm more optimistic about our chances next year than pessimistic. How's that sound?


Until next time kids.

Be safe.

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Journalistic integrity compromised at 6:05 PM.
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Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Brian Van Gorder Facts
Am I one to mock?

If you answered this question with a “no,” “maybe,” or “I don’t know” then I’d like to welcome you to the blog. This is obviously your first time here.

Anyway, one of the reoccurring themes since the Alabama game has been the constant comparison between former defensive coordinator Brian Van Gorder and current defensive coordinator Willie Martinez. Dawg fans have been relentless in putting BVG on a pedestal while taking liberties at throwing WM under the bus.

Now I’m not saying that a little bashing of Martinez isn’t warranted. Lord knows I’ve done my fair share, and so has the President-elect. However, I think anointing BVG as the second coming of Erk Russell is a little premature and, honestly, annoying. BUT, it makes for good writing.

So, with that in mind, I’d like to give you some Brian Van Gorder “facts” that you may not have heard before (for the record, #2 and #3 were not written by me):

1. BVG let the dogs out. And he's pissed that you asked about it.

2. BVG once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked BVG re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

3. The chief export of BVG is PAIN.

4. BVG doesn't coach. He merely sends mortals out to do his work so that less people get killed.

5. If you ask BVG for a form of identification, he steamrolls you to the ground and then puts you in the "lips jar."

6. BVG in a call to Tim Tebow: "Tim, I am your father."

7. Chernobyl wasn't a disaster. Merely a place where BVG spiked the nuclear football.

8. BVG has already read this list and has come up with schemes to defend against it.

9. BVG doesn't recruit players. He keeps them from going somewhere else.

10. How do you know if you've gotten a present from BVG for Christmas? You wake up on December 26.

11. BVG sneezed on a man once. After three days in the hospital, countless surgeries to fix internal bleeding and a visit from Dr. House, the man was released.

12. BVG is the one man Urban Meyer WON’T point and stare at.

13. If BVG would have taken part in “The Celebration,” he would have left a path of passed out strippers and empty cans of Old Milwaukee.

14. BVG’s secret ingredient when he cooks is BLITZ.

15. BVG’s “Two Thumbs Up” is not a sign of a job well done. He’s just telling his players to let the other team live.

16. BVG IS the best thing since sliced bread.

17. BVG doesn’t introduce himself. He just asks “Have you accepted BVG as your personal lord and savior?”

18. People are petitioning Webster’s to eliminate the word “perfect” from the dictionary and replace it with BVG. For example, “For two payments of $19.95, you can own the ‘BVG Pushup.’”

19. BVG taught Dirk Diggler everything he knows.

20. If Rennie Curran swam from Liberia to kick your ass, BVG was the one saying “Stroke! Stroke!”


Well, there you have it. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Merry Christmas to all of you and I hope everyone has a very happy and safe new year.


Until next time kids.

Be safe.

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Journalistic integrity compromised at 12:45 PM.
1 comments





Saturday, April 26, 2008
Falcons Take Ryan. What about D.J.?
With the 3rd pick in the NFL Draft, the Falcons selected Matt Ryan.  Since I'm still without cable TV, I haven't seen anyone on ESPN explain what this means for Atlanta, but I have listened to 790 The Zone on the radio to get their take on everything.

As it stands right now, it looks as if everyone agrees that D.J. Shockley is gone from Atlanta.  What bothers me the most about this is how D.J. is so easily dismissed from a team full of proven losers and low-character guys.  

You would think that if Atlanta was smart, they'd keep D.J. on the roster at least for one more year.  If I work in the PR department of the Falcons, I'm saying "D.J. Shockley is an Atlanta kid who isn't a legal liability and who sells seats and merchandise.   There's no reason to cut a guy in favor of Joey Harrington and Chris Redman, who this entire city doesn't believe can win.  Besides, if we keep D.J. and he loses...will anyone be that upset about it?  I mean don't we still suck?"

Personally, I think the potential of cutting Shock would be the second biggest screw up next to hiring Bobby Petrino.  Michael Vick screwed up way after he was in Atlanta, so the drafting of him wasn't as big a problem as what happened after he was here for a few years, so Atlanta gets a pass on that one.

But cutting Shock is dangerous and stupid for a number of reasons:

1)  Are you sure he isn't good enough?  Let's take a look at his NFL career.  His rookie year he was third on the depth chart behind Michael Vick and Matt Schaub.  Was he ever going to be given a chance to play?  Hell no, and he shouldn't have been given the opportunity given that much depth.  His second season, he was IMMEDIATELY bumped down the depth chart be Petrino in a move that I still don't understand.  I mean Petrino wanted to build an offense for Michael Vick, so why would you go out and get Joey Harrington and Chris Redman, when you already have a QB who can run and throw like Vick?  Then during the preseason when Shock was making some strides, he ends up getting his knee blown out.  The kid has hardly had a shot to show what he can do.

2)  Are you sure you want to sell tickets?  I can tell you one damn thing, the fans of the Atlanta Falcons are not going to be swarming to watch Ryan play.  No f*cking way.  They DAMN sure aren't going to be filling up the Dome to watch Joey Harrington or Chris Redman LOSE.  Are you f*cking kidding me?  Why not take Shock, let him start on opening day, put some asses in seats (hello, a hometown black kid is going to appeal to a hometown black crowd), and if you lose, then you haven't done anything worse than you were already going to do.

I swear I could rant about this for days and I hope, honestly, that I'm just wasting my breath.  But if the Atlanta Falcons are so f*cking stupid to release D.J. Shockley before the season, then they deserve to have the franchise fall apart.  Whether or not D.J. is good enough for the NFL is irrelevant.  NO ONE THEY HAVE TAKING SNAPS RIGHT NOW IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE NFL.  You might as well give the hometown kid, who's kept his nose clean and tried to be a leader for a team full of thugs, the shot to make a statement before Ryan eventually takes over the reins.  

And, Atlanta Falcons, if you do cut D.J. Shockley in favor of two losers and a rookie, then I PERSONALLY vow to NEVER spend another dime at an Atlanta Falcons game for the rest of my life.  

Now, I'll spend money to watch the Dawgs win the SECC though.  Just wanted to make that clear.  

Man I'm pissed.  I'd love to go punch Mike Smith in the mouth right now for resigning those two no-talent ass-clowns before the draft.  What a f*cking idiot.  

If you ever want to see what it's like to work in the Falcons front office, let me compare it to Mack Williams' work while I was at UGA whenever he referred to the employees in Parking Services:





F*ck it.  Go Packers.



Until next time kids.

Be safe.

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Journalistic integrity compromised at 5:38 PM.
3 comments