Well, the weekend in Florida actually ended up much better than I thought. It wasn't too hot, no bugs, no sand in awkward places, and I got drunk. I'll say that's a recipe for success.

Anyway, as promised, here is an account of the trip, accompanied by some photos.

I arrived in Perry roughly around 9:30 PM on Thursday night. After a brief Chick-fil-A dinner, I tried to lay down and take a nap, but to no avail. Somewhere in between my cussing at not being able to get some rest and getting up to pee one last time (too much Dr. Pepper), Jonathan knocked on the door and it was time to roll. We headed out in the Granny Mobile (a Ford Crown Victoria on loan from Jonathan's Grandmother) roughly around 12:45 AM Friday morning.

Jojo (as he will be referred to from here on out) was cool enough to let me grab some sleep on the way while he drove and listened to his iPod. After a stop in Valdosta and one somewhere else in BFE, Florida, we switched drivers on the Florida Turnpike at 5:00 AM...a mere two and a half hours out.

We arrived at Jensen Beach, Florida and our hotel at 7:30 AM. We shared some brief hugs with friends, including the bride and groom (because no one ever sleeps in at the beach), and then we both thought "damn I'm hungry."

We drove back across the bridge and stopped at a nice little location called "Dena's Cafe." It was quaint, out of the way, and located in a freestanding building. That spells "good-ass cookin'." We decided it was nice enough, even though it was very windy, to sit outside and eat breakfast. Here's the view looking out:


Jojo trying to pretend he's not white as hell.

I ordered the #2, which was an order of French Toast, eggs, bacon, and sausage. Here is an action shot halfway through stuffing my face:


MMMMMMM Bacon.

So, we ate, enjoyed it and then I said "nap time" while Jojo said "sunburn."

After a delightful 3 hour nap I got my ass up and started drinking. From 2:00 PM -- 4:00 PM it was Jager and Jack Daniels and it felt great. I took my butt upstairs to shit, shower, and shave (not really shaving though...beach wedding) and then headed back down to the bar. By 5:45 PM I had a Jack and Coke in one hand, my camera/phone in the other, and I was sitting in a wedding chair on a beach. Life was great and I was actually drinking during a wedding. Dreams really do come true.

Here are some action shots of the wedding:

The "Giveaway."



The "LetsSayIDoSoWeCanEatCake."



The "LetsMakeItOfficialSinceThePreacherToldUsTo."



The "AllSheWantsToDoIsDance."



The "FUCKYEAHITSCAKETIME."


Sadly enough, I was not able to get any cake because I was too concerned with getting hammered, as you can tell by the video evidence below:



Now that I've not only incriminated myself, but everyone else as well, I might as well go ahead and finish. Not that there's anything that bad. Here's a quick summary of the rest of the evening:

1. Jojo almost got some.
2. I struck out ALL NIGHT LONG.
3. We got drunk and ended up with a guitar and 12 people around a hot tub singing.
4. Surprisingly, no one stopped us.
5. Went to bed roughly around 3:00 AM.
6. Woke up at 11:00 AM, said good morning to the Bride and Groom, then went to eat lunch.
7. Became smitten by the nerdy but very hot and quite leggy waitress at Crawdaddy's.
8. Decided that if we didn't leave now, we never would.
9. On the road at 2:00 PM.

Here's an action shot of Jojo shortly after I asked him if he felt like driving:


The answer was "NO."

And, after roughly 30 hours of being within the state boundaries of Florida, we exited. Here is the last action shot of the trip:


Thankfully, this let me know I was driving in the right direction.

Well, there you have it. An all-to-quick weekend of drinking, visiting with old friends, and (sober) driving. I know to most of you who read this, you have no idea who in the hell these people are. Well, that's ok, because it's all about the fucking story, man.

The good news is the weekend saved you from the post about me getting the Stomach Flu last Monday. All you need to know is 4 lbs in 18 hours. Boo-yah.

Until next time kids.

Be safe.

Labels: "It's Wedding Season", I hate Florida, Photo Hunt